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How to Be OK With Being Single. When you’re rolling solo, it can seem like the whole world is in love with being in love — and everyone around you is obsessed with why you aren’t partnered up and pumping out kids. And while you want to tell them where to go or scream, you know you have to keep the peace so you’re not that person .
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Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy. But seriously, it can be super-annoying when people feel like it’s their duty to push you out of the “single” box and into the “taken” box. And it can be even tougher if you really do want to meet someone, but you just haven’t connected with the right one — yet. Even though it may feel like the end is near given everything that’s going on, it’s not the end of the world just because you’re single. Now actually is a pretty good time to put things in perspective, take care of yourself and determine what you really want out of a relationship if that is what you truly desire. Licensed mental health counselor Anne Posey, LMHC, NCC, shares some advice for embracing singleness, blocking out the expectations of others and putting yourself out there more if you’re ready to meet people. Is one really the loneliest number? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do Two can be as bad as one It’s the loneliest number since the number one No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know Yes, it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know ‘Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two. “One,” written and recorded by Harry Nilsson. Also recorded by Three Dog Night and many others. Boy, when you hear songs like this, it’s no wonder that sad, single person tropes exist. Sure, single people might live alone, but does that mean they’re at home weeping in corners, closets or on bathroom floors because no one is there to love them? Not at all. And Posey says that’s because they’re not alone. “Most of the time, people who say they’re comfortable alone aren’t really alone. They have friends and they have church groups. They have social groups and they have work — they have lots of relationships. They just don’t have a romantic partner. So, they’re not alone. They’re just not in a romantic relationship. And I think single people experience a lot of societal pressure. But if you’re comfortable and you’re happy, who’s to say that’s not okay?” However, with the pandemic, Posey says that it’s natural for people to feel lonely regardless of their relationship status. “It’s common for everyone to feel lonely during a pandemic. Pandemics are abnormal. Our lives during this pandemic are abnormal. So even those in the strongest relationships may feel the stress,” says Posey. “We may be with our spouse, but we may miss our friends or our social outlets,” she says. We may have increased anxiety about our health or our partner’s health. We may have disruptions in our sleep and eating patterns. We may have financial troubles. Posey says all of this can contribute to relationship issues. “I’ve seen people in committed, long-term relationships be very lonely and very unhappy. So, I don’t think being part of a couple is necessarily the only thing that makes people happy.” Is it normal to be single? Constantly being questioned about being alone could make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. It also doesn’t help when it seems like there’s a new self-help relationship book or reality show coming out every other day.
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