Looking for in a woman

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Article about looking for in a woman:
Gentlemen Speak: 6 Things Guys Care About More Than Looks. There’s more to this male stereotype than you realize. If you tell me that you know a woman who is perfect for me, the first thing I’m going to think is, “But will I be attracted to her?” Now wait.

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Before you roll your eyes and sigh because I sound just like that stereotypical looks-are-the-only-thing-that-matter kind of guy, hear me out. Attraction isn’t purely physical, it’s much more than that. Attraction is physical, emotional, relational, intellectual, and maybe even spiritual for some. Sure, a man wants to be with someone he finds physically attractive, but I think we all do. The problem comes when we feel that someone values our looks more than our personality or intellect or any other more substantial characteristic. Now I will concede that the first level of attraction that most guys recognize is physical beauty. And this makes sense. Not only are men typically more visually stimulated, but this is also the normal order of things. When I meet someone new, they make a visual impression (this includes what they wear, how they carry themselves, their facial expressions) before I get the chance to talk to them at length, let alone form a friendship with them. But in our current culture, it can be easy for both men and women to get hung up on looks, especially in a culture that constantly highlights the “perfect body” types and focuses on looks with apps like Tinder. From struggles with pornography to the mistaken idea that men constantly need sex, I know the emphasis on the physical is a significant struggle for men. I know women also see the over-emphasis on physicality and it can be discouraging in the dating arena. Personally, I think that women generally have a greater ability to verbalize what attracts them on a deeper level. So when guys then fail to share what attracts them on a deeper level, it's women who suffer for it. OK, now on to the good news. When it comes to what a man is really looking for in a woman he dates, let me tell you that not all men are shallow. Sure, they are looking for a woman who is attractive—and I know there are shallow people out there, of both sexes — but I promise, there is a lot more to it than looking hot or not. From a guy’s perspective, there is almost always more to beauty and attraction. I asked six men to name the qualities they found more attractive about a woman than how she looks. Here’s what they revealed. Personality. “There’s nothing more attractive than a personality that meshes with your own,” James says. “It’s the first thing I notice. How she holds herself, how she behaves around others, does she smile when she greets you, how she expresses emotion. Personality is such a funny thing, but I think that’s exactly what we’re talking about when we say, when we met each other, we just sort of clicked." I think James is spot-on. One of the most important things in a relationship is not if you are both great people, but if you are both great for each other, and personality plays a large role in this meshing process. The key here is to be yourself.













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