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Article about rules for dating my son:
Here are a few rules and guidelines I',m implementing in my home for their sake and my own peace of mind. My Teen is Starting to Date: 10 Rules I’m Implementing in My Home. Nothing hits you harder or makes you realize quicker that your teen is growing up than when they come to you and say, “So, umm, Mom, … I wanna go on a date.” We knew it was going to happen eventually, but when it actually happens it’s both exciting and (if we’re being honest), maybe a little terrifying.
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Suddenly, a panicky feeling hits you and a flood of thoughts rush through your mind… Already? I thought I had more time to prepare for this! There’s so much we need to talk about! Do they know how to behave on an actual date? I need to give them a crash course in dating. What if things don’t go well? Will they get their heart broken? My Teen is Starting to Date: 10 Rules I’m Implementing in My Home. I think most parents will agree that the dating world has changed a bit since we were our kids’ age. The most striking difference is that kids today are starting to date much younger than previous generations – twelve and a half for girls, and thirteen and a half for boys. (Sounds young, right!?) Well, don’t panic just yet… it turns out that dating has also become a lot more casual so it might not be recognized as dating per se. The trend is for a bunch of kids to get together and socialize as part of a group. They might hit the mall, venture to the amusement park, hang out at someone’s house, or go to a school sports event. Still, whether our kids are on a group date or one-on-one with a boy or girl, we want to prepare them (as much as we can) and put a few rules and guidelines in place – both for our kids’ sake and our own peace of mind. ( Obviously, some of the rules we put in place may have to be tweaked as our kids mature.) The most important thing to remember is that every parent may have different dating rules for their child – and that’s okay. Just like every other stage of parenting, we might fall back on how we were raised and the dating rules our parents put in place. We might reach out to friends and relatives for advice, or dive into books and podcasts for expert insight. And, of course, we might follow our own “gut parenting instincts.” If your tween or teen is starting to date and you’re stumped on what rules to put in place, here are a few basic dating rules my husband and I are implementing as our kids start to date – rules that are a good starting point for any child starting to date. 1. Safety FIRST. You know the saying – “Safety first.” Well, when you’re a parent of a young tween or teen who’s starting to date, nothing matters more than their safety. Ask your child where they met this boy or girl. How long have they known them? Where are they going on their date? If they’re headed to their date’s house, will the parents be home? (If not, then it’s a no in my house.) Will there be a chaperone or designated parent driver? (Hint: if they’re too young to drive, you might want to offer to chaperone for your own peace of mind.) If your child is a tween or young teen, it’s not too overprotective at all for you to ask for the name and phone of the date’s parents so you can have a brief discussion with them. After all, this is your child and you have every right to ask as many questions beforehand to ensure your child will be safe. 2. We Want to Meet Our Child’s Date. I trust my kids, but with apps like Tinder where you can arrange “dates” with strangers, (some call Tinder the hook-up app) I’m under no illusion that my kids might be tempted. Thus, there’s no way I’m letting my kids go on a date with anyone without coming face-to-face with them first (at least until they’re older). Plus, we consider it courteous and mannerly for our daughter’s date to pick her up at the door – and our son knows he has to do the same when he picks up a date. We don’t require an hour-long sit-down (and we don’t interrogate them) – just a quick 5 or 10-minute chat so we can start building a relationship with them. We’re also big on inviting anyone my kids might be interested in dating (or actually dating) to our home to hang out and watch a movie or have dinner with us so we can get to know them. 3. Share Your Destination. Tracking apps like Life 360 offer peace of mind so we know where our child is, but technology can and does fail and phones can get turned off so we put in an extra layer of precaution. Not only do we require that our kids share their location with us on their phones, we also need to be updated if and when plans change and they end up going somewhere different than originally planned. Again, this is a safety issue.
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